I don't even want to be writing this. Usually this blog is reserved for things I want to say to complete and utter strangers, and in a lucky twist of fate, I guess I can't really keep you in that category any longer. There are pros and cons to you being in the category of 'complete and utter strangers,' chiefly that whatever I would normally write here would be normally untraceable. I'd be unaccountable for whatever bullshit dribbles out of my brain into my fingertips, and the world would continue to spin in all it's warbly glory with neither of us suffering any indignities.
Well, fuck that. Because I have met you now. And fuck me trying to stay anonymous with my thoughts or feelings. As a Pisces, I am *skilled* at feeling feelings. You, fellow Pisces, may know exactly what I mean when I say that-- and I'm the lucky and horrible position of feeling feelings since I met you a couple weeks ago. But don't freak out. It's not exactly because of you personally, though it would help me out if you had been less 'totally fucking awesome.'
Though I strive to be a miserable malcontent who is deeply and fundamentally pessimistic (!), I just can't help feeling love and hope and gratitude about being alive and sharing each second with other people who love to FEEL FEELINGS. Who love to connect. I am obsessed with music. I'm obsessed with playing music. I'm obsessed with Musicians. Artists in general. Anyone who feels feelings and somehow manages to complete the totally mysterious process of turning feelings and thoughts into something intangible and unquantifiable. The alchemists of my world, of which you are among my absolute favorites. The people who can be as far away from me as physically possible, yet whose work can effortlessly slice through the thickest armor I own to touch a part of me that has literally no physicality. Oh brother, feeling feelings INDEED. How do I type this stuff with a straight face?! The essence of this is that it matters to me to have connected with you personally and to have attempted-- mostly through a few small acts of kindness, trustworthiness, chivalry, and what I cringe at calling generosity-- to momentarily repay you for all you have put on the line. Above all else, I consider myself a patron of your work-- having been there from the start, I intend on being there until the end. It matters to me, it MEANS something to me, to have the chance to return the favor, the art, the light, the heart...
You matter. Your work matters. I told you I was proud of you and I meant it and I mean it. I hope you are proud of yourself, and-- selfishly-- I hope you are HUNGRY for more. The music biz is now the Wild West-- I know there's a way for you to strike gold on your own little parcel of land in your own territory where you can establish a perfect little mining town where your work feeds the township in a perfectly symbiotic manner...
Needless to say, I would move there in a heartbeat and open the Saloon that serves the OOOMlands. ;)
If there was a more dramatic way to say thank you, I'd say it... knowing me, i'll just try saying it another way in a month or so...
a bientôt...